Whenever I experienced a down or off day, I would get little pieces of advice from my mom or dad, whoever sees my tired eyes first. My dad always says, "You know, my mornings can be shit too. I lost my racquetball game and the people coming through the door have had nothing but complaints. But that doesn't mean it has to affect my afternoon too. I can turn it around if I want. So can you." Id respond with, "Yeah, Dad, I know." but I could never really seem to put his words into action. My mom on the other-hand always gives me back my own advice. She says, "Sari, just take it one hour at a time, one minute, even one second at a time. I can't tell you how many times that has helped me when you remind me to do just that. Focus on one task, your next step, and you'll get through it." I always know that she is right, but God, what a hypocrite for telling her what to do and not be able to follow through when it came to my own issues. I knew I was down and depressed, feeling weighted and stressed, just completely overwhelmed at some points. Just driving to campus to work on a group project would send me into absolute tears. I would try to shake it off and get through the god-awful task, yearning just to get home, put on some pajamas and sit in front of the heater with my water bottle. Nothing I did could seem to turn my mood around and I mindlessly bumped through the hours of the day.
This morning began with that slip into a negative day. I didn't sleep, again, and I woke up feeling gross and bloated. I could feel the tug of my stress reliever and the dirty voice to escape and avoid. It was all I could do to choke down half a bowl of cereal and have some fruit. I wanted coffee. Black coffee. I made it through the morning and all too soon, 11am rolled around and I thought about the dread of having to get lunch. Nothing sounded good, I thought maybe an apple would suffice. My mom called me right then and asked me how my day was going. "Oh, you know, alright, just headed to the coffee shop to work on some homework." She told me she had lunch plans at the Bistro. Didn't sound half bad. I thought of all the advice iv been getting. Fight the negative thoughts. Find the good. You'll feel better if you eat. I promptly put my computer into hibernation and walked to the Bistro. I enjoyed the company of my parents. I ate. Nutrient rich broccoli and seasoned kale. I even indulged in a little glass of Friday afternoon (yes, it was after 12pm!) Petite Syrah. The weight had been lifted. I felt satiated and energized. I started back to campus in wonderful 40 degree weather and walked with a swagger to Justin Timberlake. Classy, I know.
A couple of years ago, I took a class in the Physiology of Psychology and learned about brain neurons called 'mirror neurons'. These specific neurons fire when we see a person conduct a behavior and we in turn, conduct the same behavior, thus "mirroring" the other. These neurons are found in the Pre-motor cortex, giving sensory guidance to the body, particularly in the trunk and in facial expression. I experienced the direct consequence of these particular neurons today in such a blatant and obvious way, I couldn't help but be pleasantly marveled by the phenomenon. With my refined mood, I opened my eyes and improved my posture. With a slight but genuine grin, I walked onto campus and had immediate feedback. Students made eye contact with me and smiled, said 'hey', held the door open for me, and responded with a general sense of cheeriness. My classmates in Senior Thesis even responded without delay. There was a general heightened mood in the classroom, and my rose colored glasses reflected, mirrored, the expressions of others.
I continued the better day with my first outside run in months. The air was crisp and fresh and I took in the oxygen with clarity and ease. I didn't care about burning calories or making a mile mark. I finished my loop and felt absolutely unbeatable and untouchable. I was washed with energizing warmth and actually started tearing up with happiness. Today I ran because I love it. I found my new stride. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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